sheriffnorthman: <user site="" comm="twincapricorns"> (Default)
[Eric is kneeling on the ground in a field somewhere, holding a small goat and a knife. The poor goat is bleating and and struggling to get away, but Eric won't let it go.]

Sookie Stackhouse, in honor of my love for you and in the hopes that you will get over Bill once and for all, and choose me instead, I have decided to sacrifice this goat to whichever City Deity will grant my wish.
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:16 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
What in the--
Edited Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:16 (UTC)
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:17 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Eric Northman, what in the name of God are you doin' to that poor goat?
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:18 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
I knew you were lyin' to me earlier. I just knew it.
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:33 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
As a matter of fact, I wasn't lying. I never said you were mine.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:15 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Then what the hell is this, exactly?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:33 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Blood sacrifices are the highest offerings we can make to the gods.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 01:01 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Eric, killin' something is hardly the way to get me to think any better of you.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 23:04 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
What does it matter what I do, you hardly think of me anyway, right? Unless all your protesting is just a cover-up.
Edited Date/Time: 2010-08-17 23:04 (UTC)
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 23:18 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Well, it's certainly not gonna help your case any, thank you very much.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 23:23 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Why don't we let the Deities decide that.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 23:35 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
I'm a person, not a pizza. You can't just expect payin' for me gets you whatever you want.
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:22 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Stop! Don't---what did the goat ever do to you?

Can't you sacrifice....something else...I don't know what exactly but...something not alive?
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:34 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
No. It has to be a living animal.
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:38 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
.....I'm sure there are other ways your feelings.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:35 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
It's either this or a human, and Sookie would look less favorably on the latter.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:45 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
...understandably, but er...don't you think...have you tried flowers?

Girls seem to like flowers.

I mean, when you give them to them...not...sacrifice them.
Date/Time: 2010-08-16 23:40 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] faderbroderson
faderbroderson: (fucking suicide bomber)
[While Godric, on principle, approves of both the budding relationship between Eric and Sookie and animal sacrifice, this overt act of desperation is very much unlike Eric.]

Eric, what are you doing?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:05 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Exactly what it looks like, Godric.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:12 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] faderbroderson
faderbroderson: (you let loss be your guide)
I don't...disapprove, but I am concerned. This is not like you.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:28 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Normally, I would agree with you, but today it feels like something I have to do.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:09 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
[Xander is sitting at a table, newly arrived and about to eat wishing he still weren't wearing duck pajamas. He is in shock. He is also confused.] about to sacrifice a GOAT? For love?!
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:14 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
I would sacrifice much more for her.

[Unfortunately, this curse is making him say things he would never even come close to admitting. Ever.]
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:16 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
[Damn that curse!]

Look, take it from me but the big gesture use of not exactly kosher means of getting a girl to love you just doesn't work. In fact, sometimes, it backfires so incredibly badly that an entire population of women goes after you.

So, know, walk softly or some such something. And maybe...spare the goat? What'd the kid ever do to you?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:40 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
I could just as easily sacrificed a human, but the goat seemed more appropriate.
Edited Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:41 (UTC)
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:44 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
You say that like you're not huma-

[There's a pause, a slow lift of the head and then a sigh.]

You're not a human, are you?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:13 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Of course I'm not human. I haven't been human for over a thousand years.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:16 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Why is this an 'of course?' That's like me saying, of course I'm a guy because I'm always a guy and guys are always around being guys. There was a chance that you were human and another chance that you were demon. But judging by the whole immortality schtick, you're a vampire.

So, that's fun.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:46 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
[Not... going... to... laugh.]

Oh... my god. Tell me you're joking.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:07 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Do I look like I'm joking?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 00:53 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] bigbad
bigbad: ([Impudent] Oh come on)

You're sacrificing a goat. You're sacrificing a bloody goat. What the hell?
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:11 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
It's an ancient tradition to appeal to the gods.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:17 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] bigbad
bigbad: ([Buffy] Hands)
Yeah, I know. The key word here is "ancient." Girls these days like flowers and chocolates better.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:23 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
[Eric's not having any of this reasonable talk. He has to sacrifice this gd goat to make the Deities listen. It's just the way it is.]

If I wanted your advice I would've asked for it.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 19:41 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] bigbad
bigbad: ([Happy] Smug)
Too bad I don't care what you want.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 01:13 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
You could like. Buy her shoes? Maybe a nice necklace. Trust me, that works better than 'I'm going to slaughter this helpless animal for you'.
Date/Time: 2010-08-17 03:40 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile]
Appears as if you played one too many heavy metal records backwards.

Try using a lamb; may help in regaining a bit of your dignity.